WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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