We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
