I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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