Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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