once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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