My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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