Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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