He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
