the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
