so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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