Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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