Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
