Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
