May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just googled if crying burns calories
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I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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