Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
