Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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