I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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