At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
