We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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