operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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