Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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