she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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