He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
