i barfeds in our rink
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's official drugs can't kill me
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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