Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
