So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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