I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
he quoted the bible to break up with me
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
