I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
