You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I think I just sharted jello shots
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
