Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
