I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
