that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Randomize