she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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