just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
