he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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