Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
