I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
