never play flip cup with pint glasses
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
