Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
