I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
farters have to be the big spoon...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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