I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
