Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
