i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize