in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
