I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Randomize