I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
