Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
