Non-Jews are for practice
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
