I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
