This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
