Got a toothbrush?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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