dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
