you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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