i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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