Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize