Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
