So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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