kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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