I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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