The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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