Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I will be naked everywhere
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
